Worst Blog Ever!

This is my blog where I review DVDs, movies, and new episodes of TV shows I watch, and sometimes I comment on news stories that I find interesting. But a lot of the time I just post random things.

Thursday, March 31, 2005

Review of South Park - "Best Friends Forever"

Last night, the South Park episode "Best Friends Forever" aired. I thought it was a brilliant episode, best episode of the season so far. The satire on the Terri Schiavo case was excellent. This episode is one of new my top ten favorite episodes of South Park. I give this episode an A+.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, March 30, 2005

They Call Me "Tater Salad"

Here is Ron White's famous "Tater Salad" stand-up comedy joke:

"I got thrown out of a bar in New York City. Now, when I say I got thrown out of a bar, I don't mean someone asked me to leave, and we walked to the door together, and I said, "Bye everyone, I gotta go!" Six bouncers picked me up and hurled me out of that bar like I was a Frisbee. Those big old New York bouncers that think about bouncing. They hang out with other bouncers, talking about bouncing. They go home at night and watch 'Road House' and beat off, Patrick Swazey's hittin' another guy! (Orgasm) For wearing a hat. I walk into a bar with a hat on and the bouncer comes over to me, real pissy, and goes, 'Take off the hat!' I'm like, "What's the deal?" He goes, 'I'll tell you what the deal is. Faggots in this area wear hats; we're tryin' to keep them out of our club!' Oh really? The only way we can tell down in Texas is if they have their hair cut like...yours. And he got all pissed. Anyway, I took off the hat, and he walked away. About an hour later, I was drinking and I forgot. Ever forget? It happened to me. I put the hat on, and he comes back over. Now, I'm between six-one and six-six depending on which convenience store I'm leaving. I weigh two hundred and thirty pounds, and this guy comes over, poking me in the shoulder. He says, 'You're outta here!' and I said, "I don't think so, Scooter!" And I was wrong. They hurled me out of that bar. And then they squared off with me in the parking lot, and I backed down from the fight, cause I don't know how many of them it would have taken to whip my ass, but I knew how many they were going to use. That's a handy little piece of information, right there. The police got called because we broke a chair on the way out, and I refused to pay for it. I refused to pay for it cause *we* broke it over *my* thigh. And at that point, I had the right to remain silent, but I didn't have the ability. The cop was like, 'Mr. White, you are being charged with drunk in public-KA!' I was like, "Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! I was drunk in a bar! They, threw me into public-KA! I don't want to be drunk in public! I wanna be drunk in a bar, which is perfectly legal...arrest them!" He didn't arrest them, instead he had me do a field sobriety check, where you stand on one foot, raise the other foot six inches off the ground, and count to thirty. I made it to "woo...! "Is that going to be close enough?" It wasn't, so they called in for my arrest record. There's some good news! Satellites are linking up in outer space. Computer banks at NASA are kicking on. There's a telegraph in Fritch, Texas, going: beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. [pause] Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, beep. This part takes a while. Beep, beep, beep, beep, beep...Brrrrinnnng! Shorthand. [pause] Beep. Now, I told you that story, to tell you this story. When I was seventeen, I was arrested for being drunk in... public. And one DWI, which was a bogus charge, cause it turns out they were stopping every driver traveling down that particular sidewalk...and that's profiling. And profiling is *wrong*! The arresting officer, who I had literally known, all my life. You know what I mean? This guy lived four doors down the street me, in a town of less than three hundred people. *We've met.* Now, he takes me to jail, and he asks me if I have any aliases. And I was just being a smartass, and I said, "Yeah. They call me, "Tater Salad!"" Seventeen years later, I'm handcuffed on a bench in New York with blood coming out of my nose, and this cop goes, 'Are you Ron 'Tater Salad' White?' You caught me! You caught the tater! You can take down those road blocks down now."

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White




Also: Tonight a NEW episode of South Park titled "Best Friends Forever" will air. I will review the episode tommorow.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Review of South Park Season 5 DVD

For Easter I got the South Park Season 5 DVD, the DVD includes all fourteen episodes of the fifth season of South Park and mini commentaries by Matt Stone and Trey Parker. The DVD is great, the mini commentaries are very good, but I wish Matt and Trey would record full-length episode commentaries rather than mini ones. The DVD has no special features other than the mini commentaries. Season five is one of my favorite seasons of South Park. I give this DVD set an A.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, March 28, 2005

New South Park Episode Wednesday - "Best Friends Forever"

Wednesday a NEW episode of South Park titled "Best Friends Forever" will air. In the episode Cartman is jealous when Kenny buys the last new portable gaming device before the toy store runs out.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, March 27, 2005

Review of King Of The Hill - "Arlen City Bomber"

The King Of The Hill episode "Arlen City Bomber" was a good episode, I really liked the Bobby/Lucky subplot. I give this episode an A-.

Also: HAPPY EASTER!!!

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, March 26, 2005

I'll Blow The Towel Off His Head!

Here is an extended version of the Ron White Osama Bin Laden stand-up comedy joke I posted a couple weeks ago:

"I was having an arguement about Bin Laden with somebody the other day. The arguement came up because the country said if they caught him they wouldn't extridite him in a state in the United States that had the death penalty. And I'm like "I don't care." My buddy was all bent out of shape about it "I'll blow the towel off his head!" Because that's who I hang out with. It bent him out of shape that I wasn't upset about it and he goes "How come you ain't upset!? I know you're pro death penalty, how come that don't make you mad?" I'll tell you why that don't make me mad because spiritually Osama Bin Laden is prepared to die for Islam, but I guarantee that spiritually he is ill-prepared to lick jelly out of Thunder Dick's butt crack. I hate grape jelly! Shut up and lick my butt! And you've gotta do a good job too, because you're in this until cums too. It's not just a na-na there I did it. No, you've gotta try. You've gotta tickle the inside of Thunder Dick's thigh, you've gotta fondle Thunder Dick's nut sack a little bit. If you don't make him cum pretty quick, you're gonna run out of jelly....... Comedy's not always pretty, folks. Every once in a while someone will get tongue fucked in the ass right in the middle of a humorous situation."

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Also: Tonight at 1 AM (tommorow actually) The Comedy Central Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy will be reaired UNEDITED. Tomorrow a new episode of King Of The Hill titled "Arlen City Bomber" will air, I will review it tomorrow. No new episode of The Simpsons will air tommorow night.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, March 25, 2005

Review of Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again

The first time I saw Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again was when it aired on Comedy Central for the first time. I bought the movie on DVD today. It is hilarious, Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again is one of my all-time favorite movies. All the comedians on it (Jeff Foxworthy, Bill Engvall, Larry The Cable Guy, and Ron White) are hilarious, especially Ron White. I'm not a redneck, but I don't think you have to be a redneck to find this movie funny. I give this movie an A+.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Thursday, March 24, 2005

Review of South Park - "Wing"

Last night, the South Park episode "Wing" aired. I thought it was an excellent episode. I went to the website in the episode: www.wingmusic.co.nz, and I was shocked to find out that Wing is an actual person. I give this episode an A.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, March 23, 2005

Michael Jackson Kissed Bart Simpson Doll

http://www.contactmusic.com/new/xmlfeed.nsf/mndwebpages/jackson%20wanted%20close%20bond%20with%20bart

Hilarious, that is all I have to say. Hilarious.

Also: A NEW episode of South Park titled "Wing" will air tonight, I will review the episode tomorrow.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, March 22, 2005

New South Park Episode Wednesday - "Wing"

Wednesday a NEW episode of South Park titled "Wing" will air. In the episode Cartman, Stan, Kyle, and Kenny become talent agents, as talent agents they get 10% of thier client's earnings.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, March 21, 2005

Review of The Comedy Central Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy

Last night The Comedy Central Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy aired. I thought it was hilarious, especially Ron White's parts. I hope this roast will be released on DVD, like Denis Leary's roast was. The roast will also air Saturday night at 1 AM (Sunday actually) UNEDITED. I give this roast an A.

Also: Tommorow I will post the title and description of Wednesday's NEW episode of South Park.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, March 20, 2005

Review of The Simpsons - "Mobile Homer"

The Simpsons episode "Mobile Homer" was a good episode, although it is one of my least favorite episodes of the season so far. I was surprised to see the Bob's RV Roundup salesman which we only saw once way back in the first season. I give this episode a B.

Also: Tonight The Comedy Central Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy will air at 10 tonight, I will review it tommorow.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, March 19, 2005

The Comedy Central Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy

Tommorow night at 10 The Comedy Central Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy will air, the roast masters will be Bill Engvall, Larry The Cable Guy, and Ron White. I will review the roast on Monday.

Also: Tommorow a NEW episode of The Simpsons titled "Mobile Homer" will air. No new episode of King Of The Hill will air. I will review the new Simpsons episode tommorow night.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, March 18, 2005

Schfifty-Five

This is hilarious, one of the funniest things I've ever seen. Watch it here:

http://www.ebaumsworld.com/schiftyfive.html

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Review of South Park - "Die Hippie, Die"

Last night, the South Park episode "Die Hippie, Die" aired. I thought it was a good episode, although I do not think it was as funny or as good as last week's episode. I give this episode an A-.

Also: HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Do Not Have Sex With The Authorities

Today I was searching through funny quotes on a webpage and I found this hilarious quote by none other than Matt Groening (Creator of The Simpsons, Futurama, and Life In Hell)

"When the authorities warn you of the dangers of having sex, there is an important lesson to be learned. Do not have sex with the authorities."

- Matt Groening

Also: Tonight a new episode of South Park titled "Die Hippie, Die" will air. Tommorow I will review the episode.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Review of Ron White: They Call Me "Tater Salad" DVD

I just recently bought Ron White: They Call Me "Tater Salad" DVD (finally). The DVD is great, it features about an hour of his live stand-up comedy shows. The DVD also has a very good interview, and a photo gallery (which isn't THAT great) as special features. I think Ron White is the funniest comedian ever. I give this DVD an A+.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, March 14, 2005

New South Park Episode Wednesday - "Die Hippie, Die"

Wednesday's new episode of South Park is titled "Die Hippie, Die", in this episode hippies invade South Park, so Cartman takes it upon himself to rid the town of them.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, March 13, 2005

Reviews For King Of The Hill - "Care-Takin' Care Of Business" and The Simpsons - "Goo Goo Gai Plan"

The King Of The Hill episode "Care-Takin' Care Of Business" was a very good episode, but not quite as good as last week's episode. I give this episode a B.

The Simpsons episode "Goo Goo Gai Plan" was an excellent episode, it was as good as or better than last week's episode. Nice David Silverman "How To Draw Bart" feature over the credits. I give this episode an A.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, March 12, 2005

New Episodes Schedules: Reloaded

It's time for the 2nd Installment of the thrilling saga known as "New Epidodes Schedules".

The Simpsons -
March 20 - "Mobile Homer"
March 27 - No New Episode

South Park -
A new episode will air Wednesday, on Monday I will post the episode's title and description.

King Of The Hill -
March 20 - No New Episode
March 27 - "Arlen City Bomber"

Also: Tommorow night I will review new The Simpsons episode "Goo Goo Gai Plan" and the new King Of The Hill episode "Care-Takin' Care Of Business".

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, March 11, 2005

I Hate Grape Jelly!

Once again, another hilarious Ron White stand-up comedy joke:

"Osama Bin Laden says that spiritually, he is prepared to die for Islam, but I guaruntee that spiritually Osama Bin Laden is ill-prepared to lick jelly out of Thunder Dick's butt crack."
"I hate grape jelly!"
"Shut up and lick my butt!"

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Review of South Park - "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"

Last night, the South Park episode "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina" aired. I thought the episode was hilarious, although it was insanely twisted. I hope the rest of season 9 will be as good as this episode was. I give this episode an A.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, March 09, 2005

The Remix Edition Of The Song About Pissin'

This is fuckin' hilarious:

(spoken) "Normally I don't do thisBut I'ma hit ya'll off with a little taste of the remix. Ya'll ready? Here we go(sung) I pick you up from the club. Take you home to make some love. Got a surprise, close your eyes. I'm gonna cover you with suds(instrumental breakdown). I'm gonna give you some poo-poo. I'm gonna give you some pee-pee. I'm gonna give you some doo-doo. Wash it down with some wee-wee. This is the remix edition of the song about pissin'. I got that peein', leakin', freakin' and there's juice in the kitchen. (spoken) That's how it goes at a R. Kelly party. Sup, Chris.......... you drink piss. I want to piss on you remix, ya heard? You know I'm serious I really do want to piss on you."

- R. Kelly - "(I Wanna) Pee On You" (Remix Edition) by Dave Chappelle


Also: A NEW episode of South Park titled "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina" will air tonight. I will review the episode tommorow.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, March 08, 2005

Things That Make You Go Buhhhh!

Yet another Ron White stan-up comedy joke:

"I got in last night, and some guys wanted to take me to a topless bar. I didn't... want to go, but I ended up going, cause you guys will back me up on this, you've seen one woman naked... you wanna see the rest of them naked! It can be an old biker chick, you know, they're gonna hang down to here. 'Wanna see me my tiities?' "Yeah, I do! [pause] All right, roll 'em back up now! I've seen enough." Things that make you go buhhhh!"

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, March 07, 2005

New South Park Episode Wednesday - "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina"

Wednesday's new episode of South Park (Season 9 Premiere) is titled "Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina", in this episode, Mr. Garrison will be getting a sex-change operation. Meanwhile, Kyle is upset about the fact that Jews aren't good at basketball. To me, it sounds like a very strange episode.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, March 06, 2005

Reviews For King Of The Hill - "The Mutual Of Omabwah" and The Simpsons - "On A Clear Day I Can't See My Sister"

The King Of The Hill episode "Mutual Of Omabwah" was a great episode, it had a very good plot. The episode was hilarious. Season 9 of King Of The Hill is turning out to be very good. I give this episode an A-.

The Simpsons episode "On A Clear Day I Can't See My Sister" was an excellent episode, the episode was hilarious. The plot and sub-plot were both great. Season 16 of The Simpsons is turning out to be great. I give this episode an A-.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, March 05, 2005

You're Bleeding

Here's another hilarious stand-up comedy joke by Ron White:

"If you've got a yield sign in your spleen... jogging doesn't come into play!"
(in different voice) "I can run twenty-five miles without stopping!"
"You're bleeding."
(in different voice) "Shit."

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


That is one of the funniest, bizzarest jokes I've ever heard.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, March 04, 2005

He Rolls His Turds Into Little Balls And Eats Crayons

Here is another one of my favorite stand-up comedy jokes by comedian Ron White:

"What does this crazy person do?"
"He rolls his turds into little balls and eats crayons."
"Fine I'll feed him for the rest of his life!"
"And what does this crazy person do?"
"Oh, he kills productive members of our society."
"Well he should of rolled his shit into little balls and ate crayons... because the penalty is much less... severe!"


- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Snow - The Conclusion

Last night it didn't snow any and it didn't snow any today. The wind chill was cold this morning, so school was delayed. It then warmed up. This snow storm is over, dammit!

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Snow (Part III)

Last night it snowed two more inches of snow, once again causing school to be closed (insert exclamation). Most of the snow from this snow storm is over now. All that is expected in the next few days is some flurries. Although, tommorow morning and throughout the day the wind chill will be very low, so that might cause school to be closed.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

More Snow

Last night it snowed two or three more inches of snow, once again causing school to be closed (woohoo!). Tonight it is supposed to snow about two or three more inches of snow, so I expect school will be closed once again tommorow. It is snowing very heavy right now. This is turning out to be one of the biggest snows of the winter.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip: