Worst Blog Ever!

This is my blog where I review DVDs, movies, and new episodes of TV shows I watch, and sometimes I comment on news stories that I find interesting. But a lot of the time I just post random things.

Saturday, April 30, 2005

New Episodes of Family Guy

The wait is almost over, after more than three years, a new episode of Family Guy will air. The first new episode of the fourth season, "North By North Quahog", will air tommorow night at 9. The season premiere is written by series creator Seth MacFarlane. I'm really looking forward to new episodes of one of the greatest TV shows ever.


Also: Tommorow night the King Of The Hill episode "Gone With The Windstorm", The Simpsons episodes "Don't Fear The Roofer" and "The Heartbroke Kid", the Family Guy episode "North By North Quahog", and the American Dad episode "Threat Levels" will air. I will review those episodes sometime after they air.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

The Simpsons 350th Episode

Tommorow night at 8, The Simpsons 350th episode will air (technically it's the 351st episode).

Friday, April 29, 2005

FamilyGuy.com

FamilyGuy.com is the NEW official Fox site for Family Guy, created just a few days ago. It is one of the very best websites ever! It features wallpapers, e-cards, AIM icons, a message board, a blog and several other awesome things. The website really gets me excited for the new episodes of Family Guy.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Thursday, April 28, 2005

Freakin' Sweet Family Guy Quotes

My favorite quotes from Family Guy:

Chris: Dad, what's the blow-hole for?
Peter: I'll tell you what it's not for, son. And when I do, you'll understand why I can never go back to Seaworld.

Stewie: Well, I'd love to stay and chat, but you're a total bitch.

Peter: Oh my God, Brian, there's a message in my Alphabits. It says, "Oooooo."
Brian: Peter, those are Cheerios.

Peter: Excuse me, is your refrigerator running? Because if it is, it probably runs like you - very homosexually.

Brian: Hola, me Ilamo es brian ... Nosotros caramos ir condustedes.. uhhhh ...
Bellboy(spanish): Hey, that was pretty good, except when you said "me llamo es Brian," you don't need the "es," just me llamo Brian.
Brian: Oh, oh you speak english
Bellboy (sigh): No, just that first speech and this one explaining it.
Brian: You .... you're kidding me, right?
Bellboy(spanish): Que?

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

The Ron White Show

Tommorow night at 8:30 on WB the pilot episode of The Ron White Show will air. The Ron White Show will feature animated segments, dancing showgirls, Ron out on the town, and Ron meeting tourists and harassing the locals. The show is filmed in front of a live studio audience.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Here's Your Sign ... Again

Here are some more of my favorite Bill Engvall "Here's your sign." jokes:

"While sitting on a magazine someone asked me "Are you reading that?" I replied, "Yes, I always read with my butt." Here's your sign."

"One of my tires went flat, some guy asked me "Tire went flat?" I replied, "Nope, I was driving and three of them just swelled up on me." Here's your sign."

"I learned to drive an 18-wheeler in my days of adventure. Wouldn't you know, I misjudged the height of a bridge. The truck got stuck and I couldn't get it out, no matter how I tried. I radioed in for help and eventually a local cop shows up to take the report. He went through his basic questioning...okay...no problem. I thought for sure he was clear of needing a sign...until he asked, "So, is your truck stuck?" I couldn't help myself! I looked at him, looked back at the rig and then back to him and said, "No, I'm delivering a bridge... here's your sign."

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, April 25, 2005

You Ever Take A Crap So Big Your Pants Fit Better?

And yet another hilarious Ron White stand-up comedy joke:

"You ever take a crap so big your pants fit better? Has that ever happened to anyone here tonight? I’m hoping that’ll happen to me later tonight, because these pants don’t fit anymore! I’m hoping I’m one big turd away from backing into an old wardrobe."

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, April 24, 2005

Google Satellite Images

Earlier today I was bored so I went on Google Maps and for the first time I noticed that it had satellite images. I was dissapointed that I couldn't find my house, but I did find a very low-quality satellite image of my town. I found pretty good satellite images of places such as Area 51, the Capital, the White House, and Dealey Plaza in Dallas (where JFK was assassinated). This satellite image feature is AWESOME.

Also: No new episodes of King Of The Hill or The Simpsons will air tonight.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, April 23, 2005

Diamonds... That'll Shut Her Up... For A Minute

Another hilarious stand-up comedy joke by Ron White:

"I saw something that came close to truth in advertising, the De Beers people are almost saying what they really mean, folks. Because the old slogan was “Diamonds… are forever.”, and then they changed it to “Diamonds… take her breath away.”, the new slogan is “Diamonds… render her speechless.” Why don’t they just go ahead and say it “Diamonds… that’ll shut her up… For a minute.”

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, April 22, 2005

Family Guy: Live In Vegas CD

The Family Guy: Live In Vegas CD/DVD will be released this Tuesday (April 26th).



TRACKLISTING:
1. Fanfare & Intro
2. Theme From "Family Guy"

3. Babysitting is a Bum Deal
4. Dear Booze
5. The "Q" Man Loves Nobody
6. All Cartoons Are Fuckin' Dicks
7. The Last Time I Saw Paris
8. But Then I Met You
9. T.V. Medley
10. Puberty's Gonna Get Me
11. But I'm Yours
12. Slightly Out Of Tune (English asaption of Desafinado)
13. One Boy
14. Quahog Holiday
15. Bow Music (Theme from "Family Guy")

Bonus DVD Content -
Stewie's "Sexy Party" Video
The Making of Family Guy Live In Vegas
The Making of Stewie's "Sexy Party" Video


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Thursday, April 21, 2005

Review of South Park - "Erection Day"

Last night, the South Park episode "Erection Day" aired. I thought the episode was brilliant and hilarious. Jimmy was especially funny in this episode. I give this episode an A+.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

If You've Got A Bladder Control Problem... You're Probably Aware Of It

Once again, here is another hilarious Ron White stand-up comedy joke:

"I’ve decide there’s too many support groups in this country, you should just pick yourself up and go along. Now, they have this Bladder Control Awareness Group. You know what, if you’ve got a bladder control problem... you’re probably aware of it, or you’re in some weird ass denial I’ve never even heard of..... Well, moisture seems to be forming in this area, I’m not sure whether it’s due to high humidity… or I’m just pissing myself, Bob"

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White

Also: Tonight a NEW episode of South Park titled "Erection Day" will air, I will review the episode tommorow. This is the last episode of the first half of season nine, I suspect the second half of season nine will begin in the fall.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

New Episodes Schedules: Rides Again

It is time for the fourth installment of the epice trillogy known as "New Episodes Schedules":

The Simpsons -
April 24 - No New Episode
May 1 - "The Heartbroke Kid" and "Don't Fear The Roofer"
May 8 - "A Star Is Torn" and "Thank God It's Doomsday"

Family Guy -
May 1 - "North By North Quahog" - Season 4 Premiere Episode
May 8 - "Fast Times At Buddy Cianci Jr. High"

South Park -
April 20 - "Erection Day" - Last Episode of the First Half of Season 9

King Of The Hill -
April 24 - No New Episode
May 1 - "Gone With The Windstorm"
May 8 - "Bobby On Track"

American Dad -
May 1 - "Threat Levels"
May 8 - "Stan Knows Best"

The Ron White Show -
April 28 - "Pilot"

Also: This has nothing to do with this post, but I think that Ratzinger AKA Pope Benedict XVI will not be a very good pope. I don't think he will be a good pope because he is way too conservative and is a former (or possibly current) Nazi . But I'm not a Catholic, so I don't really know why I would care THAT much.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, April 18, 2005

New South Park Episode Wednesday - "Erection Day"

On Wednesday a new episode of South Park titled "Erection Day" will air. In the episode, Jimmy has to figure out a way to pull himself together before the big talent show. This is the last episode of the first half of season nine, I suspect the second half of season nine will begin in the fall.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, April 17, 2005

Reviews of King Of The Hill - "Smoking And The Bandit" and The Simpsons - "Future-Drama"

The King Of The Hill episode "Smoking And The Bandit" was a very good episode. I was glad to see an episode focusing on Dale becuase he is one of my, if not my favorite, character. I give this episode an A.

The Simpsons episode "Future-Drama" was an awesome episode. I especially liked the gag featuring Bender. I think this episode is the best episode of the season so far. I give this episode an A+.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, April 16, 2005

Ron White Is A Drunken Lazy Bastard!

Here are my favorite quotes from The Comedy Central Roast Of Jeff Foxworthy which aired about a month ago:

"Ron White is a drunken lazy bastard! Vampires do more during the day than Ron White. Hispanics do more than Ron White!"

"Bill Engvall is Jeff Foxworthy's personal bitch!"

"I heard Bill Engvall complaining backstage that Jeff Foxworthy should shave his mustache because it tickles his balls."

"Jeff Foxworthy is the classiest person I have ever met, in comededy or anywhere else. Even if he does kill animals, go home and fuck them... He does it with class."

"I have Jeff Foxworthy's "You Might Be A Redneck" on vynil and when you play it backwards it goes "Here's your sign."

"Ron White is very talented, he is the only man I know who can light a ciggarette while in hand cuffs."

"Collin Quin admitted on Howard Stern that he let his cat lick milk off his balls. I asked him why he would do such a thing and he said because his turtle is lactose intolerent."

"Mean face, Ron White has. He looks like a carny who takes some kids behind a ferris wheel to teah 'em a lesson."

"Fans of Larry The Cable Guy buy tickets to his concerts just so they can use indoor plumbing."

"Now you see, Jeff is a smart man, but he doesn't like to show it because when he does people start talking to him really fast."

"Greg Giraldo and his wife have nine kids, ages two to three. Will someone please tell these people that condoms aren't only for smuggling crack."

"Fans of you guys take time out of there day to go to your concerts, when they could have used thier time to just burn a cross or have sex with thier sister. But no, they take there hard earned money they got from robbing the liquor store, they could've just used the money on crystal meth or abortions. They get spiffed up in thier best "Who Farted?" T-shirt and go see you guys."

Also: Tommorow night a new episode of The Simpsons titled "Future-Drama" will air, also a new episode of King Of The Hill titled "Smoking And The Bandit" will air. I will review those episodes after they air tommorow night.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, April 15, 2005

We're Haulin' Ass

Here is yet another hilarious Ron White stand-up comedy joke:

"So, it’s great to be alive, isn’t it folks? I almost died last year, actually I didn’t almost die, I, uh, didn’t even get hurt. I was in a near-missed plane thing. I was flying from Belmont to Houston, because my manager doesn’t own a globe. I was on a plane that big, pack of gum with eight people in it. We took off from the Belmont Airport, Hair Care, and Tire Center there. We’re traveling at half the speed of smell. We got passed by a kite. There was a goose behind us, and the pilot was screaming “Go around! Go around!” We get half way to Houston, we’ve got to go back. It’s a nine-minute flight, can’t pull it off with this equipment! We had engine trouble, we lost some oil pressure, and they announced it over the speaker of the plane. Which was stupid because they could’ve just went “Hey, we lost some oil pressure.” Heard ya… sure did. It was weird, everyone on the plane was nervous. But I’d been drinking since lunch and I was like “Take it down, I don’t give a shit.” You ever have one of those days? “Hit somethin’ hard! I don’t want to limp away from this piece of shit!” The guy sitting next to me is losing his mind… apparently he had a lot to live for. He goes “Hey man! Hey man! Hu hu hu! Hey man! Hu hu hu! If one of these engines fells, how far will the other one take us?” “All the way to the scene of the crash! Which is pretty handy because that’s where we’re headed. I bet we’d beat the paramedics there by half an hour… We’re haulin’ ass.”

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Thursday, April 14, 2005

Review of South Park - "The Death Of Eric Cartman"

Last night, the South Park episode "The Death Of Eric Cartman" aired. I thout it was a great episode. Butters was, as usual, hilarious. I give this episode an A.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

She Got Fired Too, Both Of Us Got Fired!

Here is another hilarious Ron White stand-up comedy joke:

"The last job I had was working at a pickle factory, but I got fired from that job for putting my finger in the pickle slicer. She got fired too, both of us got fired!"

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White



Also: Tonight a NEW episode of south Park titled "The Death Of Eric Cartman" will air, I will review the episode tommorow.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

The Simpsons: One Step Beyond Forever

In the fall, a new Simpsons episode guide book titled "The Simpsons: One Step Beyond Forever" will be released. The book will feature seasons 13-14.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, April 11, 2005

New South Park Episode Wednesday - "The Death Of Eric Cartman"

On Wednesday a new episode of South Park titled "The Death Of Eric Cartman" will air. I the episode, Butters is freaked out when he thinks he can communicate with the dead.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, April 10, 2005

Review of King Of The Hill - "Redcorn Gambles With His Future"

The King Of The Hill episode "Redcorn Gambles With His Future" was an excellent episode, the episode was hilarious. This episode is my favorite episode of the season so far. The band's name, Fudgecake, was hilarious. I give this episode an A.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, April 09, 2005

I'm Surprised They Make Them Drive The Same Direction

Here is another hilarious stand-up comedy joke by Ron White:

"So, it's great to be back in Texas, where the speed limit on the interstate is seventy miles an hour..... Unless you're in an eighteen wheeler, then it's sixty-five miles an hour..... Unless it's at night, then it's sixty miles an hour..... Unless you're in a car pulling a big trailer, then it's fifty-five miles an hour. And they do this, of course, because having everyone drive the same speed on the same road..... just doesn't make sense. I'm surprised they make them drive the same direction, how about you?!"

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Also: Tommorow night no new episode of The Simpsons will air. A new episode of King Of The Hill titled "Redcorn Gambles With His Future" will air, I will review the episode after it airs tommorow night.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, April 08, 2005

Here's Your Sign

Here are my very favorite Bill Engvall "Here's Your Sign" jokes:

I stayed late at work one night and a co-worker looked at me and said, "Are you still here?" I replied, "No. I left about 10 minutes ago. Here's your sign."

It's like before my wife and I moved. Our house was full of boxes and there was a U-Haul truck in our driveway. My neighbor comes over and says, "Hey, you moving?" "Nope. We just pack our stuff up once or twice a week to see how many boxes it takes. Here's your sign."

My son sat down at the piano and he said "I'm going to play you a song from Harry Potter." I said "The movie?" He says "Nope, the book! Here's your sign."

Me and my wife just landed in Los Angeles, we were coming back from Europe where we bought some paintings. When we got off the plane a security guard says "You buy those paintings in another country?" I say "No, We carry this one everywhere we go and my wife painted this one while we were standing in line. Here's your sign."

I couldn't find my luggage, so I go to lost luggage in the airport, where everyone is in SUCH a good mood. So, I tell the girl working there that I lost my luggage. She says "Has your plane landed yet?" I say "No, princess, I'm having an OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE! I'm just checking on it. Here's your sign."



Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Thursday, April 07, 2005

Review of South Park - "The Losing Edge"

Last night, a new episode of South Park titled "The Losing Edge" aired. I thout it was a great episode, I actually liked the Randy subplot more than the main plot. Randy was hilarious! "I thought this was America!" I give this episode an A.

Also: The new episode of The Simpsons scheduled to air Sunday ("The Father, The Son, And The Holy Guest Star") will not be aired because of the recent death of the Pope, a re-run will be aired instead.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

Matt Stone Chat

Last night from 8 to about 9:20 (EST) Matt Stone answered questions on South Park Studios chat. You would submit your question to a bot, which would then at random (I guess) pick questions, then Matt would answer the question. I submitted the question "Since Mr. Garrison is now a woman, will Mr. Slave ever return?" Matt's response was "We were just talking about that. I don't think he's gone for good. He's too fucking funny. Oh Jesus!" The entire chat was great, although some of the questions were incredibly stupid. I hope he (or Trey, or both) does it again sometime. You can read a transcript of the entire chat here.

Also: Tonight a NEW episode of South Park titled "The Losing Edge" will air, I will review the episode tommorow.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Gmail Invites

I have 10 remaining Gmail invites. If you would like one email me: homerjbrannigan@gmail.com. If you don't know what Gmail is go to this website: Gmail.

Also: Tonight at 8 (EST) Matt Stone will be in South Park Studios chat, you will be able to ask him questions. South Park Studios Chat

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Monday, April 04, 2005

New South Park Episode Wednesday - "The Losing Edge"

On Wednesday a NEW episode of South Park titled "The Losing Edge" will air, in the episode the kids desperately want an end to the boring baseball season. The problem is they’ve won so many games that now they’re in the playoffs. Just one loss would mean the season’s finished and they’d be free from America’s favorite pastime for the entire summer.


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Sunday, April 03, 2005

Review of The Simpsons - "The Seven-Beer Snitch"

The Simpsons episode "The Seven-Beer Snitch" was a really good episode. I liked the Homer as a prison snitch plot. Season sixteen of The Simpsons has been excellent so far. I give this episode an A-.

Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Saturday, April 02, 2005

RIP Pope John Paul II

Pope John Paul II died at 9:37 PM (Italy time) tonight. I'm not a Catholic, but I think Pope John Paul II was a very good man. He will be missed throughout the world for a very long time to come. May he rest in peace.

New Episodes Schedules: Revisited

It is time for the third installment of the epic trilogy known as "New Episodes Schedules"

The Simpsons -
April 3 - "The Seven-Beer Snitch"
April 10 - No New Episode
April 17 - "Future-Drama"

South Park -
I will post information on Wednesday's new episode on Monday.

King Of The Hill -
April 3 - No New Episode
April 10 - "Redcorn Gambles With His Future"
April 17 - "Smoking And The Bandit"

REGARDING YESTERDAY'S POST: In case you couldn't tell, yesterday's post was an April Fool's Day joke.

Yesterday's Dilbert Comic Strip:


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

Friday, April 01, 2005

これは 月の愚か者日の冗談である

これは 月の愚か者日の冗談である。この4月は日本語 の言語で日の冗談を書かれるだます。感謝は用具を翻訳する, 私 は日本語を話すか, または手紙にどちらかを書くことができない 。はい, これは日本語, あなたである右である。日本語はこの言 語がであるもので

ない 。4 月は!! だます



今日鈍い賭の続きこま漫画: