Worst Blog Ever!

This is my blog where I review DVDs, movies, and new episodes of TV shows I watch, and sometimes I comment on news stories that I find interesting. But a lot of the time I just post random things.

Friday, April 15, 2005

We're Haulin' Ass

Here is yet another hilarious Ron White stand-up comedy joke:

"So, it’s great to be alive, isn’t it folks? I almost died last year, actually I didn’t almost die, I, uh, didn’t even get hurt. I was in a near-missed plane thing. I was flying from Belmont to Houston, because my manager doesn’t own a globe. I was on a plane that big, pack of gum with eight people in it. We took off from the Belmont Airport, Hair Care, and Tire Center there. We’re traveling at half the speed of smell. We got passed by a kite. There was a goose behind us, and the pilot was screaming “Go around! Go around!” We get half way to Houston, we’ve got to go back. It’s a nine-minute flight, can’t pull it off with this equipment! We had engine trouble, we lost some oil pressure, and they announced it over the speaker of the plane. Which was stupid because they could’ve just went “Hey, we lost some oil pressure.” Heard ya… sure did. It was weird, everyone on the plane was nervous. But I’d been drinking since lunch and I was like “Take it down, I don’t give a shit.” You ever have one of those days? “Hit somethin’ hard! I don’t want to limp away from this piece of shit!” The guy sitting next to me is losing his mind… apparently he had a lot to live for. He goes “Hey man! Hey man! Hu hu hu! Hey man! Hu hu hu! If one of these engines fells, how far will the other one take us?” “All the way to the scene of the crash! Which is pretty handy because that’s where we’re headed. I bet we’d beat the paramedics there by half an hour… We’re haulin’ ass.”

- Comedian Ron "Tater Salad" White


Today's Dilbert Comic Strip:

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home